BURT MALONE LETTERS: Zombies STILL all over the small screen...

People like Malone have been 'binge watching' before there was a term for it, and no surprise, he has been devouring all things zombie that the idiot box has to offer.  So here we go in another edition of "Malone takes on TV Zombies".


Hey asshead.

Since you just copy paste my letters like the lazy buffoon that you are, I'm going to structure this letter a little more like the rest of your dumb posts where you chronicle the moronic banter of those two tools.


I'm going to interrupt this, actually to say... HARSH.


Most people probably come here for Malone anyways.  So give the people what they want.  Alright. So I've been combing the depths of Netflix for more TV Shows with zombies that I have checked out yet.  My search came up, to my surprise, with some totally adequate and competent television.

iZombie, from 2015, is into its third season at this point, and I have to say, maybe it's because I went in with a super low bar, but this thing delivers.  Funny, for the most part, when it tries to be, and a cast of actors that I actually want to keep watching.  Characters that I want to root for!  Look, some of it is a bit lame, and not ALL of the jokes land, but the story and hook to the show is original enough to keep me engaged, and I ended up wanting to go back for more.  Three out of four!

Moving along.  I finally got around to watching Ash vs. Evil Dead.  Bruce Campbell dusts off the old Ash role and slaps it on like a nice comfy old pair of jeans.  Ash seems to be a bigger asshole than I remember... but maybe it's just been that long since I've seen the original movies.  Honestly, seeing him reprise the role, and for an ongoing, well produced, well written TV show... I mean, it give me a bigger joy boner than seeing Ford do Han again.  And believe me, that was a big boner.  Speaking of big boner, damn, Ash is a huge dick.  Three out of four as well.

At some point I knew I'd get to one I didn't like so much.  this brings me to The Returned... an A&E (?) production that is the fourth (?) re-ash of the same story.  I know the French one "Les Revenants" was based off a French movie, so this is the second or third level in of "based on based on based on" or something.  Not a bad show. But how about just doing one that hasn't already been done.  Lump this one in with Spiderman and Batman in the "I DON'T WANT ANOTHER VERSION WHO EVEN GIVES A SHIT IF ITS GOOD" category.  Two out of four.

My journey through Netflix, thankfully ended on a high note.  The Glitch is fucking cool.  It does bear some similarities to the above mentioned re-hash of a re-hash, but it is its own thing entirely.  I won't spoil anything, but it is well written, well acted, and at times, creepy as you want it to be.  FOUR ON FOUR.

There.  Put that in your pipe and smoke it.

Love, Malone.


Great.  Now I have more stuff to add to my list of things I want to watch but probably never will have time to.  See you on the other side.