WTF is this?


I love movies.  One part of my brain can sit and appreciate a Woody Allen movie in all its glory, while on the other side, lives a part that craves a good Zombie movie in all its gory.  The inner dialogue (or monologue, depending on how you want to look at it) that I have while watching movies, is always between two characters:


Allen Starkwell

Named after the prolific filmmaker, Starkwell was born to like Woody Allen's movies.  When he is not talking film with Lovelock, he can be found sitting alone in a dimly lit and humid room perfecting his inner monologue and working on his Stand-Up routines.  He sincerely feels that the comma needs to make a comeback in modern punctuation.

Lionel Lovelock

Zombie movie enthusiast, Lovelock has made it his mission to see every Zombie movie he can get his hands on.  When he is not conversing with Starkwell, you will find him furiously working on his novel and/or rummaging through the sale bins at local movie stores.  He hates quiche but often will order it accidentally thinking that it is pie.


Zombie Hall is a place to document snippets of these inner conversations as I continue my never ending quest to find that perfect film, a marriage of all of the things that I love about movies.

'Zombi' meets 'Annie Hall'.  'Zombie Hall'. Get it? Got it? Good.

Sometimes it will happen that I will give Lovelock and Starkwell the night off.  They're not always in the mood to talk, after all.  When such an occasion arises, there is one dark corner of my brain that I can always turn to for wisdom and content.  He is:


Burt Malone

Lead guitarist and vocalist for a band that only exists in his mind, it has been said that every time he plays a guitar solo, a unicorn gets its wings (disclaimer: only Malone has ever said this).  He frequently writes poems about martial arts films and claims to have seen the Dragon Lee vehicle "Thousand Mile Escort" more than anyone else in the world.  He has seen it once.


Keep an eye out for Burt's letters, essays and/or rants.  They will pop-up sporadically and unannounced, much like Burt Malone himself.

That's it.  Thanks for stopping by.


  1. Anonymous13:05

    I love this by the way! It's Original and so intriguing and you can bet I'll be here often. Thanks.

  2. That's probably the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.

  3. You've got a great "hook" here, Kev D. Have you ever considered creating distinct avatars for Starkwell, Lovelock, and Malone to further flesh out their characters within the posts? I'd love to see a separate bio for each as a permanent installation in your sideboard, as well. Casual visitors to your site would get a more immediate sense of what you're doing here.

    It's a great concept!

    1. Thanks!!

      You know I've actually been thinking about doing EXACTLY what you just said, but wasn't sure anyone would notice... now I think I might have to do it. Best suggestion EVER. Thanks again for the tip!

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