Harold's Going Stiff.

In an age when everyone is doing zombies, and no one is trying to mix it up, it’s nice to see someone mixing it up.  Now, that being said, it may end up being a rotten mixture, but at least it won’t be as unoriginal as most.  The movie’s tagline of “the nicest zombie you’ll ever meet” isn’t exactly whetting Lovelock’s appetite for destruction and mayhem.

[...]

[Three zombie hunters, basically vigilantes, but very unlikely vigilantes, talk about their exploits killing zombies and then they kill a zombie.]

Starkwell: I don’t think that zombie was even trying to attack them.  Or anybody.

Lovelock: I have a feeling this is going to be a different one.

Starkwell: Pretty funny so far.

[...]

After the three dudes very slowly bludgeon the zombie with bats and blunt beating objects, we cut to Harold, making himself some breakfast.  The film is partially filmed in documentary style.  We hear about Harold, and how he was the original “zombie”, which in this case seems to be little more than a living guy with rigor mortis.  Apparently this ‘Onset Rigor Disease’ or ‘O.R.D.’ as they call it, progresses into different stages and they become more traditionally zombie-like.

[...]

[Doctor explains the three stages of ‘O.R.D.’.]

Lovelock: Step one, stiffness, step two, mental breakdown, step three, rabidity, step four LOVELOCK SHALL BE ENTERTAINED!

Starkwell: Sounds like a plan.

[...]

Once rabid, the zombies seem to walk around a bit like Frankenstein’s monster.  Clearly Starkwell and Lovelock are into it, because they aren’t saying a whole lot, but their eyes seem glued to the screen.  The comedy is subtle and dark, but SPOT ON for the most part.  The scenes with the three ridiculous vigilantes are particularly funny.  There a lot of random sexual innuendos, between the talk of STIFFNESS and the way the nurse ‘treats’ Harold, and the crispy sausage that seems to have caused ‘O.R.D.’… They’re also poking fun at old age, particularly in men, since they are the only sex affected by the disorder… for the most part, it’s just fucking weird.  And sad.  Sometimes funny.

[...]

[One of the vigilantes goes into a cave to capture a zombie, gets bitten.]

Lovelock: IT BEGINS!!!!

Starkwell: This movie kind of does it all.

[And at only seventy-five minutes it doesn’t waste much time.  Although the bite turns out to do nothing except freak the little vigilante out.]

Starkwell: I guess it's more of a joking nod to the whole zombie bite thing that usually transpires.

Lovelock: So, it does not begin, basically, is what you're telling me.

[...]

The most random running gag is that Harold’s nurse needs to bring toilet paper with her everywhere that she goes because she sometimes needs to have emergency bathroom breaks in the bushes because of her IBS.  Pretty odd.

[...]

[We see what is basically a nursing home for the 'O.R.D.' sufferers.]

Starkwell: Are they making a statement on how we treat our old people or?

[Clearly they are making a statement on how we treat our old people.  The roles are somewhat reversed though, since in this case it’s an old man putting his son in a home.]

Lovelock: If so, then, well… Ricky Gervais’ “Derek” is a lot more… warm.

[They seem to be getting uncomfortable.]

[...]

Then it very suddenly shifts from a dramatic scene to horror, then right back to comedy.  What a ride.  Oh wait, back to drama.  I think I saw Lovelock crying when Harold started feeling better but then started getting much worse again.  The movie does start to drag a little near the end, but it’s all put together so well that, honestly, Lovelock and Starkwell can forgive them for that.  The heartbreaking conclusion, on the other hand, they are not quite ready to forgive.  It’s like they had forgotten that zombie films don’t generally have happy endings.