Maniac Cop 2.

Another Lustig movie about a vigilante… I definitely know that Lovelock and Starkwell head into this one with the expectation bar at least somewhat raised.  They enjoyed the first installment, and they definitely like some of writer Larry Cohen’s other endeavors, such as “The Stuff”.  While they found “Uncle Sam” to be a bit of a stinker (I mean, how many times can you re-brand the same movie), this one came in well before that, so maybe it won't feel quite so tired.  Also, I mean, come on, Bruce Campbell is in it.  So, yeah.

[...]

[Bruce Campbell fights Maniac Cop.]

Starkwell: I always thought Campbell was kind of a Streisand, but he’s rocking the shit in this one.

Lovelock: Wait what?

[Maniac Cop drives a truck off a pier with Campbell hanging onto the side of the truck.]

Lovelock: WOAH!  STUNTS!

Starkwell: I miss watching movies where you get to spot the stunt doubles.  Nice wig!

[...]

If you haven’t seen the first one, all you really need to know is that Maniac Cop is a vigilante zombie cop who just don’t know when to quit.  Something tells me that, although he just took a huge pipe through the chest, he’s coming back.  The something telling me that, is that this is called “Maniac Cop 2” and we are only two minutes into the film.

[...]

[Maniac Cop stops an armed robbery, but kills the clerk and gives the gun back to the perp.]

Lovelock:  I don’t get it.

Starkwell: What’s with all the smoke?

Lovelock: Will there be a story in this movie, or… ?

[...]

Bruce Campbell and Blondie are arguing with the police commissioner about whether or not the Maniac Cop really is the undead dude they think it is.  Blondie starts FREAKING OUT.  Then five minutes later they kill Campbell and the guys are all “DA FUCK”.

[...]

Starkwell: Is it really necessary to focus on the dead naked girl’s boobs for so long at the morgue?  They’re there to identify Bruce Campbell’s body…

Lovelock: I’ll allow it.

Starkwell: Dude, weak.

[...]

There doesn’t seem to be any real method to Maniac Cop’s madness.  I mean I get that he killed Bruce Campbell, but the guy in the corner store?  Now a cop towing away some douchebag’s car?  What the shit?

[...]

[Maniac Cop throws Blondie through a window and then she goes after him with a chainsaw.]

Starkwell: What does she expect to do with that?

Lovleock: I don’t know but she has some seriously crimped hair.

[Maniac Cop immediately breaks her neck.]

Lovelock: Hashtag chainsaw fail.

Starkwell: Never again, please.

[...]

Then the Police Psychologist Woman, handcuffed to a car’s steering wheel goes flying down the highway… on the outside of the car.  Say what you will about the movie, but there are some pretty righteous car stunts littered throughout.

[...]

[Strip club scene.]

Starkwell: Why is this scene so long?  Why are the strip club scenes always so long?

Lovelock: Like you don't know.  More important is, who is this fucking guy they are focusing on?

[This movie is developing a side story now, even though the main story is barely developed.]

[...]

So the guy at the strip club is a Serial Killer who’s been killing strippers.  As he is about to kill another stripper in her apartment, Maniac Cop show up, throws the girl into a wall and saves the Serial Killer from the police.  Seriously, what the fuck, they become buddies and plan to kill together?

[...]

Lovelock: I feel like the theme from “Perfect Strangers” should start playing, at this point.

[...]

Then there is a flashback to how Maniac Cop died in prison, and for whatever reason, it just had to be in “stabbed while naked in the showers by some shirtless inmates”.  So we get plenty of Robert Z’Dar ass shots and some almost side peen.  Why did it have to be in the shower?  And why were the prison showers so dark, open and cavernous?

[...]

[The cops go around to some neighboring strip clubs to look for the guy.  They find him at the first strip club they go to.]

Starkwell: How convenient.

Lovelock: How did this guy manage to kill so many strippers and get away with it if he is so dumb?  FUuuUUCK the cops in this movie’s universe are inept.

[...]

Then Maniac Cop goes to the police station and kills basically everybody and frees his Serial Killer Buddy.  It’s a fair amount of bullet action and gore, but I still don’t really see what his end game is, other than killing everyone that potentially put him behind bars in the first place.  Also random people.

[...]

[Maniac Cop and Serial Killer steal a prison bus and break into prison… ?]

Starkwell: So, no one reported that the prison bus was stolen and that MAYBE the prison souldn’t let the bus in?

Lovelock: Remember what I said about the cops in this universe?

[So I guess he is going after the people that shower-shanked him in prison.]

[...]

After a pretty sweet fire stunt, Maniac Cop kills his killers and flies out the window down a bunch of flights into a bus, which then explodes.  It’s THE DEFINITION OF BLAZE OF GLORY.  The story may have lacked some imagination, and had a whole slew of useless bits, like the Serial Killer Guy (why was he even in this?), but man, the action and stunts were tight. Can’t wait to show them part 3.

Maniac Cop.

Since his film “Maniac” earned him some horror street cred after dabbling in porno, William Lustig never strayed too far from that formula.  This 1988 work “Maniac Cop” (even found a way to re-use the 'Maniac' moniker) is supposed to be pretty ridiculous.  Genre hero Tom Atkins is in this one, so it promises to at least deliver on the acting front.  Larry Cohen, who wrote and directed the fantastic 1985 epic “The Stuff”, wrote and produced the film.  So, that’s a good sign too.  Lovelock and Starkwell anxiously wait for me to press play as the cheapest looking menu ever repeats itself over and over again on this Legacy Entertainment release. “Play Movie” or “Scene Selection”?  Play movie.

[...]

[Maniac Cop asks guy to get out of the vehicle, then kills him.]

Lovelock: That’s why I never cooperate with the police.

Starkwell: Yeah, that’s why… wait… you never cooperate with the police?

[...]

[Richard Roundtree is the chief.]

Starkwell: Making a police film in the eighties… Step one, cast sassy black man as the chief of police.

Lovelock: I’m pretty sure step two involves a main character with a checkered past.

Starkwell: Most likely he “shot a kid” or something like that.

Lovelock: Oh, he had a toy ray gun, it looked real enough.

[...]

As the movie presses forward, we get many more KILLS, some sweet character development, and a seemingly terrific detective storyline.  Lovelock and Starkwell are hooked.  There were several instances where either one of them would say something about how rad Tom Atkins is.  And for some reason, they kept saying “THRILL ME”.  They did start asking whether or not the Maniac Cop was a zombie though. 

[...]

[Ladies and gentlemen, Bruce Campbell.]

Lovelock: Show his face, fuck!

Starkwell: Seriously, why wouldn’t they cash in on that chin?

Lovelock: Oh shit yeah! There it is.

[...]

[Campbell is framed for Maniac Cop killings.]

Lovelock: That’s why you should never commit adultery.

Starkwell: Yeah, forget love and morals, it’s the potential of your spouse being murdered and you being framed for it.

[...]

[Maniac Cop’s hands are cold and huge, and apparently he isn’t breathing.]

Lovelock: And he got shot a bunch of times and walked away? Sounds like a zombie to me!

Starkwell: Or Rambo.

[...]

[We get some back-story on Maniac Cop.] 

Starkwell: Detective guy figured all of that out pretty quickly, and doesn’t seem too bothered by the fact that his explanation involves a roaming dead guy.

Lovelock: Tom Atkins doesn’t need rational explanations.

[...]

There was a long jail flashback sequence, mostly in slow motion that involved a brutal naked shower murder, which managed to avoid any accidental side peen.  As Lovelock said “that’s an accomplishment right there”.  Tom Atkins was thrown out a window, but since Campbell’s still alive kicking ass, we can assume the rest of this movie can still kick ass.  Although, Starkwell wondered “is Bruce Campbell is wearing eye liner?”

[...]

[Vice Squad Girl is still made up like a hooker days after she is off duty.]

Starkwell: So that wasn’t her undercover costume, she really dresses like a hooker all the time?

Lovelock: It was the eighties and crimped hair was all the rage.

Starkwell: Sadly, for us, so was bad acting.

Lovelock: And bad synth soundtracks.

Starkwell: I really miss Tom Atkins.

[...]

The movie ended with one of the coolest stunts I have ever seen, and a cliffhanger ending.  Good times were had by all.  Lovelock and Starkwell absolutely would like to check out the rest of the series.

Uncle Sam.

Known mostly for "Maniac" or his more recent "Maniac Cop" series of films, William Lustig explores a similar style with his political statement ‘Uncle Sam’.  This Blue Underground release has all of the usual nice treatments of a Blue Undergound release and opens with a menu that is an exact copy of what is on the front of the box.  No spoilers here.  Let’s find out what they are hiding.

[...]

[Annoying kid wakes up and smashes a picture of his Uncle, named Sam.]

Starkwell: His name is Sam, and he is an Uncle?  How convenient.

Lovelock: Wouldn't be much of a movie if it was called Uncle Peter.

[...]

[Annoying kid's teacher claims to have taught the kid's uncle.  Teacher looks thirty-five.]

Starkwell: Wait, if Uncle Sam was in that guy’s class, wouldn’t that make him like a hundred years old?

Lovelock: He probably just started teaching at a young age.  Like Doogie Howser.

[...]

Lovelock: Oh man, I really hope Uncle Sam offs the kid.  Soon.

[...]

[Enter Isaac Hayes.]

Lovelock: Black Moses just knocked that scene out of the park.  Hard.

Starkwell: He’s a complicated man.

[...]

[Every death is followed by a cheesy one-liner, being whispered, loudly.  This one involved a head-chopping.]

Starkwell: The one-liners would be more effective if the movie moved a little quicker.

Lovelock: I don’t know, that was a pretty fast cut.

[...]

Lovelock and Starkwell then sat comfortably watching Uncle Sam off people for seemingly no real reason.  Every now and then Starkwell would express confusion as to which side the director is on.  Lovelock says he clearly just hates everyone.

[...]

[Although it doesn't make him inconspicuous at all, Uncle Sam wears an Uncle Sam costume, complete with mask.]

Starkwell: Clearly they have him parading around in an Uncle Sam costume so they don’t have to pay to have him in the Zombie makeup.

Lovelock: Uh, no, it’s so he can blend in, idiot.

[...]

[Fourth of July celebration, awful band plays.]

Starkwell: Hopefully that’s a real band and they thought that appearing in this movie was their big break.

Lovelock: You think they made it?

[...]

[Re-enter Isaac Hayes.]

Starkwell: Chef is terrible in these scenes… what happened?

Lovelock: Short answer - Scientology.

[...]

[Finally rid of the Uncle Sam costume, Uncle Sam shows his long locks of flowing hair, even though the flashback that they showed at the beginning, showed Uncle Sam with a buzz-cut.]

Starkwell: He grew an awful lot of hair after dying.

Lovelock: It’s to add an element of realism.

Starkwell: Wait, what?

[...]

[Credits begin with 'For Lucio']

Starkwell: For Lucio? That’s a bit presumptuous.

[...]

As the credits rolled, so did Starkwell’s eyes.  Lovelock simply used his hands to make a fart noise.  I think at the end the filmmaker definitely chose a side, but the kid(s) made it hard to be happy about it.