I quickly explained to Lovelock and
Starkwell what the concept of the original “VHS” film was. After this rough synopsis, they looked at me
and said “another fucking anthology film?”
I doubt that they are the only ones thinking that at this point, and
highly doubt that they are the only ones to go into this film with
exceptionally low expectations. The “frame
narrative”, as it is called on wikipedia, is about a couple of private
investigators that come upon a stack of VHS tapes while looking for a missing
person. They go through them. The tapes make up the film’s segments. The “frame narrative” story, if successful, creates an uncomfortable and tense atmosphere as we go from tape to tape. The
first segment involves a clinical trial gone wrong where a dude can like see
ghosts and shit. It’s entirely filmed in
first person view. Lovelock and
Starkwell complained about this saying “if I wanted this shit I’d play a video
game”. But the second one is a zombie
story.
[...]
[Girl throws another tape into the VCR.]
Starkwell: Why would these videos even be
on VHS in the first place? No one would
go to the trouble of taking their digital mountain biking helmet cam video and
transferring it to a VHS tape.
[Biker on tape runs into a bleeding
vomiting girl, she turns into a zombie, bites him… The ‘footage’ keeps cutting
from the camera on the mountain bike to the one on his helmet.]
Starkwell: So… in this found footage
universe, someone found his helmet cam AND his bike, uploaded both videos,
edited them together complete with music, and transferred all of this to a VHS
tape and then… sold it to the guy who’s apartment they are in?
Lovelock: So… you’re not even going to try?
Starkwell: It doesn't feel like they did...
[...]
Now the dude wearing the helmet cam falls
over, vomits, dies, starts turning into a zombie. So yet another first person view segment…
with bad acting.
[...]
[Dude gets up and starts eating people.]
Lovelock: Alright, that’s sort of new.
[He bites off fingers, now he’s trying to
eat the guy’s leather wallet.]
Lovelock: ZOMBIE NO LIKE LEATHER…
Derrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrp.
Starkwell: Just what I was thinking.
[Now we get some footage from a video
camera filming a girl’s birthday party, and helmet cam zombie shows up and start
eating people.]
Starkwell: Okay, so they found the helmet
cam, his bike cam, which is now miles away in the woods somewhere, AND some random
person’s video camera and edited ALL THE DIFFERENT FOOTAGE together before transferring
it all to a VHS tape?
[...]
[Helmet zombie picks up a gun and blows his
brains out after getting a call from his girlfriend saying “I LOVE YOU”.]
Starkwell: Wait… what? Suddenly he’s himself again?
Lovelock: And can operate a gun?
[Well, that’s the end of that segment.]
[...]
[The next segment is another zombie-ish one
involving a satanic cult where a dude and his girlfriend give birth to Satan, I
think.]
Starkwell: The segments are definitely a mixed bag. This one rigth now is head and shoulders above the first two...
Lovelock: Agreed.
[Like the other segments, it looks less
like “found footage” and more like a very nicely edited short film.]
[...]
Anyways, the next segment continues down
the found footage avenue, but involves a bunch of kids getting abducted by
aliens. It’s actually pretty sweet. The segments got progressively better as the film went on. All in all, this turned out to be a pretty good anthology
film. The segments themselves are a huge
improvement on the original, but the first “V/H/S” tied its segments together in
a better and creepier fashion, or at the very least, in a way that made the
title more relevant. When you tie the whole thing together as if these are old
VHS tapes hanging around some apartment where a guy collects snuff and whatnot,
it seems to me they should do a better job in making the segments look like
shit that would have been on VHS in the first place. If you just want to make a found footage anthology, find another way.
[...]
[The “frame narrative” concludes with an
undead (?) kid (the guy who’s apartment they’re at) and a possessed girl (the
girl from the beginning who randomly dropped dead after watching some VHS
tapes) attacking the private eye guy.]
Starkwell: Wait… what?
[Undead dude gives thumbs up to the camera,
roll credits, and ROCK song.]
Lovelock: Jumping the shark right at the last second. Bravo.
[...]
The end.
Lovelock and Starkwell seem slightly more confused than usual. I believe Lovelock called it “V/H/S Poo” at
one point.
Harsh, but not entirely inaccurate. I enjoyed the first V/H/S more, largely because it stayed truer to the central conceit. That being said, the quality of the individual segments was all over the place. Take the first and last segments of V/H/S and the last two segments of V/H/S/2 and you'd have something. I should do that. lol If I do, I'm calling it Super V/H/S - the title this sequel should have stuck with.
ReplyDeleteI thought I was being nice! I really liked the second half of the film, but definitely thought that the narrative tying it all together was a bit weak in comparison to the original.
DeleteAlien Slumber Party was fantastic though.
I wasn't a fan of either film but, like you said, the alien part was fantastic!
ReplyDeleteI actually HATED the first film, but this one I enjoyed most of the individual shorts, even if they were tied together very sloppily.
Delete