Zombie Self-Defense Force.

The same director that brought us “Stacy” decided to dive right back into the zombie genre ass first with “Zombie Self-Defense Force”.  After how much Lovelock and Starkwell hated his previous work, I won’t dwell anymore on introducing this film.  Here, we, go…

[...]

[Every Japanese stereotype you could think sees a UFO.]

Lovelock: I guess if it’s a Japanese person making the film, it’s not racist?

Starkwell: Whatever it is, it’s the cheapest computer effects I have ever seen.

Lovelock: It looks like a local mattress store commercial.

[...]

[Soldiers go to investigate.]

Starkwell: She looks like she can barely hold her head up while wearing that helmet, let alone be a combat soldier…

Lovelock: In Japan, women come first… wait is that how it goes?

[...]

As the outbreak starts, RIGHT AWAY, The gore effects are absolutely terrible, but Lovelock feels “somehow it gives it a certain charm… well, so far, anyways.”

[...]

Starkwell: Of course the underwear model survives.

Lovelock: I think she’s a pop singer.

Starkwell: Same difference.

[...]

As much as Starkwell wanted to hate the movie, he couldn’t help but appreciate that the movie doesn’t take itself seriously, and even pokes fun at itself, but in a somewhat intelligent way.  So far, so good.  It also seems to have respect for the material it intends to replicate and "honor".

[...]

[We think Girl Soldier might be a cyborg.]

Starkwell: So Aliens and Zombies weren’t enough?  We need to throw in man-made cyborgs?

Lovelock: Why settle for a burger when you can have a TWO burgers... and fries?

Starkwell: Increased potential for diarrhea, for starters.

[...]

[Pregnant zombie explodes, and then, zombie fetus.]

Starkwell : How could anyone have thought that puppet would work.

Lovelock: Are we watching the same thing?  This is incredible.

Starkwell: I think something is lost in translation.

Lovelock: But no one is talking…

Starkwell: No, I mean between me and you.

[...]

Then for a while, Starkwell and Lovelock didn’t have much to say.  The movie was pretty cookie cutter.  The characters were bunkered down in a house in the woods, zombies trying to get in.  It was all pretty fun.

[...]

[Soldier Girl is part machine – they revived her after a critical injury BIONICALLY.]

Lovelock: So basically she’s "Robocop".

Starkwell: If that helps you understand it.

[...]

[On the subject of why was she a cyborg?]

Starkwell: So basically they just wanted to make her kick ass, but needed an explanation, so they came up with cyborg.

Lovelock: There are aliens and zombies… you would think they would trust us to suspend our disbelief enough to allow her to kick ass without being a cyborg.

[On the subject of why there are UFOs crashing.]

Starkwell: So the UFOs crashing were a coincidence and had nothing to do with the zombies?

Lovelock: Well it appears that the world is ending.

Starkwell: Now I think there HAS to be something lost in translation.

Lovelock: It's pretty simple, basically she’s "Robocop".

[...]

The movie ends, and, in fact, the last ten minutes were the worst part of the movie.